My Life Fucking Sucks

* Chorus *
My life fucking sucks
Run me over with a truck
Just kick me in the head
On the road, left for dead
Yeah, my life fucking sucks

Ohh, My life fucking sucks
Who else has this shitty luck?
Forget getting paid,
having fun, or getting laid
yeah, my life fucking sucks.

* Verse 1*
I'm hung over and a disgrace
And the boss is yelling in my face
I wanna punch him in the nose
And rip out his fucking throat

Then I find a place to hide
But my card comes back denied
Livin' on ramen and rice
Yeah, fuck my fucking life

* Chorus *

* Verse 2 *
I show up at the pub
Out of place, akward, and dumb
Everyone else is fashionable and hip
While I'm a dumb-ass piece of shit

Grab a drink and sit in the dark
Watch all the smiles hit their mark
Everyone else having a great night
Yeah, fuck my fucking life

* Chorus *

* Verse 3 *
My last girl kicked me to the curb
Turned around and flipped the bird
Quickly grabbed a scenester
And that's the last time I've seen her

now I'm jerking it all alone
My dick is feeling like a stone
Only drug whores giving me the eye
Yeah, fuck my fucking life

* Chorus *

Angie's Phalanges

Chorus:
Let's throw those bodies in the graveyard (F, Dm)
Toss those eyeballs in the pail (Bb, A)
Dance with the bones in the moonshine (F, Dm)
Hang those innards on the sail. (Bb, A)

Oh, dear Angie. I love you so.
I stared in your eyes as we sliced his throat
Our smiles come alive, as we sharpen our knives
My sweet, beautiful, partner in crime.


Verse:
(Dm, Bb)x3 (Em, C7)

[unfinished]


No jail can hold our love
No hell can hold our hearts
The river of souls surround us
in blood, we'll never part

Every Bar Has That Guy

[Chorus: G, B, Em, A, A-Bb-B-C#, A, D, G]

'Cause every bar has that guy
Red, blurry eyes
Ain't no hidin'
When he's got you in his sights
Whether or not you like it
He's gonna tell you his life
Man, you ain't gettin' laid tonight

'Cause every bar has that guy
He's been drunk since five
Reeks of cheap beer,
cigarettes, and stye
Get strapped in for the ride
'cause he ain't leavin' your side
Your new best friend for life

Red hair nightmare

Verse: (slow, dramatic)
I saw her standing there
With long, red, flowing hair
I should have known then
Yes, I should have known better

But she got me in her sights
with manic, devil's eyes
I should have listened to my gut
instead of staring at her thighs

Next thing I knew...


Chorus: (fast)
I had her legs in the air
Grabbing hair and underwear
Sweat, fingers, tongues, and toes
Yeah, I even used my nose

Banging away on the floor
Angry neighbors at the door
So I threw her against the wall
then the counters and in the hall

She howled like a dog
who has never seen the moon
She was bendable and flexible
and came like a monsoon

Ruined sheets, ruined bed
Rolling all across the room
If it wasn't for the flesh,
I might have seen impending doom!

Verse: (slow, dramatic)
Six months later,
I explained it wasn't forever
We were just having fun
y'know...just hanging together

But Pandora's box has been opened
And I have been chosen...
[rant]
Because imagine throwing a cat into a bag,
shaking the bag really hard,
Then, dumping a bucket of ice cold water into that bag,
shaking it more,
and then throwing the fucker into the air
[continue song]
That's what happens after you fuck her...

Then, with tears rolling down,
We agree it's time to end
She just wants one final hug
...but what's she doing with her hand?

Next thing I knew...

Chorus: (fast)

Verse: (slow, dramatic)
One year later,
she's crazier than ever
Stalking me all over,
I can't seem to escape her

I've blocked her phone numbers
after 12 calls in two hours,

[unfinished]