My Life Fucking Sucks

* Chorus *
My life fucking sucks
Run me over with a truck
Just kick me in the head
On the road, left for dead
Yeah, my life fucking sucks

Ohh, My life fucking sucks
Who else has this shitty luck?
Forget getting paid,
having fun, or getting laid
yeah, my life fucking sucks.

* Verse 1*
I'm hung over and a disgrace
And the boss is yelling in my face
I wanna punch him in the nose
And rip out his fucking throat

Then I find a place to hide
But my card comes back denied
Livin' on ramen and rice
Yeah, fuck my fucking life

* Chorus *

* Verse 2 *
I show up at the pub
Out of place, akward, and dumb
Everyone else is fashionable and hip
While I'm a dumb-ass piece of shit

Grab a drink and sit in the dark
Watch all the smiles hit their mark
Everyone else having a great night
Yeah, fuck my fucking life

* Chorus *

* Verse 3 *
My last girl kicked me to the curb
Turned around and flipped the bird
Quickly grabbed a scenester
And that's the last time I've seen her

now I'm jerking it all alone
My dick is feeling like a stone
Only drug whores giving me the eye
Yeah, fuck my fucking life

* Chorus *

Angie's Phalanges

Chorus:
Let's throw those bodies in the graveyard (F, Dm)
Toss those eyeballs in the pail (Bb, A)
Dance with the bones in the moonshine (F, Dm)
Hang those innards on the sail. (Bb, A)

Oh, dear Angie. I love you so.
I stared in your eyes as we sliced his throat
Our smiles come alive, as we sharpen our knives
My sweet, beautiful, partner in crime.


Verse:
(Dm, Bb)x3 (Em, C7)

[unfinished]


No jail can hold our love
No hell can hold our hearts
The river of souls surround us
in blood, we'll never part

Every Bar Has That Guy

[Chorus: G, B, Em, A, A-Bb-B-C#, A, D, G]

'Cause every bar has that guy
Red, blurry eyes
Ain't no hidin'
When he's got you in his sights
Whether or not you like it
He's gonna tell you his life
Man, you ain't gettin' laid tonight

'Cause every bar has that guy
He's been drunk since five
Reeks of cheap beer,
cigarettes, and stye
Get strapped in for the ride
'cause he ain't leavin' your side
Your new best friend for life

Snowy Haze

She emerges from the snow
A beautiful and calm face
A complexion only rivaled
by the snow itself
Soulful, brown eyes
denoting a long-ago sadness
despite the wistful smile
crossing her delicate lips

As I watch her approach
I'm suddenly drawn in
and a giant fortress breaches
the dark, grey heavens
It looms, menacingly, over the city
And burns a blinding, golden light
Reflecting in its terrible spires
Outlining horrifying, arabesque architecture
Forged by the Forgotten Ones
in an age before mankind's beginnings

Then it's gone
The light turns red,
the only color against the white landscape
As she walks off
disappearing in the snowy haze

Blood on the Wall

I kicked in the door and found a whole new down-low area to my psyche; A door I had no idea was there. A corridor of behavior I didn't think possible. Inside was a writhing pit of curious creatures, dancing to strange rhythms from dark, inchoate times. These creatures took me on a journey I can not recollect, nor do I care to.

The first night. I start off reading at the bar, some good ol' Hunter S. Thompson. I'm at the bar to catch the last band, The Bad Things. I implore the bartender that I must maintain through their set, please, dear lord.

And, I do, all the way until the last song. They played my request for "The Drunkest Little Clown", and then I blacked out and became the drunkest little clown.

A flash of memory. Am I having sex?
Another flash. Why am I naked on someone else's couch? And who are all these other naked people? Are these my friends or some strange terrorists?

And, then, I wake up at home. Weak, and thoroughly sick. A few minutes of correspondence reveals some details of the previous night. Wicked and devious details. I choose to forget what I've just heard and get food.

I can barely eat. A few hours later, I finally get through my one meal. Again, I get ready to go out. When you're on a roll....

At the bar, I'm seeing friends and some new faces. I see the one who has my heart. A new sadness blooms, and I find my dear friend, Jim Beam.

A flash. Hanging with a couple of friends and laughing at the bar.

I wake up. And this is when I knew I can't do this again. I looked around in horror and embarassment. And then pain.

My entire living room was a whirlwind of disaster. My coffee table was overturned and all the decorations were torn off the wall. I look down and see blood all over my pants and hands. Two giant cuts on my palm and my knuckles all swollen.

I get up and wade through what seems to be about twenty to thirty empty containers of jello-shots. Inbetween these green and red little devils lie crunched and empty PBR cans. A smell of stale, spilt beer fills the air.

A pain shoots up from my foot. My pinky toe is completely bludgeoned and bleeding. I look at the wall with the decorations ripped off and see the beginnings of some blood on the wall. I round the corner and see another culprit: a completely destroyed light switch...perfectly fist sized indentation.

I walk into my bathroom and the horror really kicks in. A giant hand-splatter of blood sweeping along the bathroom wall. The toilet seat is also covered. Dear, god, what happened here?

Then, I remember two friends from the bar coming over to my place. I immediately get a hold of them to see if I either killed or hurt them. "No, no worries! We had fun!"

Good, my rage occurred after they left. What brought it on? Or was there even a reason?

No more. I quit. I can't take the chance of seriously hurting myself and my friends doing this downward spiral shit. I love my demons because they are a source of inspiration, but it has gone too far.

Good-bye to you, my friend alcohol. It was fun while it lasted.

Red hair nightmare

Verse: (slow, dramatic)
I saw her standing there
With long, red, flowing hair
I should have known then
Yes, I should have known better

But she got me in her sights
with manic, devil's eyes
I should have listened to my gut
instead of staring at her thighs

Next thing I knew...


Chorus: (fast)
I had her legs in the air
Grabbing hair and underwear
Sweat, fingers, tongues, and toes
Yeah, I even used my nose

Banging away on the floor
Angry neighbors at the door
So I threw her against the wall
then the counters and in the hall

She howled like a dog
who has never seen the moon
She was bendable and flexible
and came like a monsoon

Ruined sheets, ruined bed
Rolling all across the room
If it wasn't for the flesh,
I might have seen impending doom!

Verse: (slow, dramatic)
Six months later,
I explained it wasn't forever
We were just having fun
y'know...just hanging together

But Pandora's box has been opened
And I have been chosen...
[rant]
Because imagine throwing a cat into a bag,
shaking the bag really hard,
Then, dumping a bucket of ice cold water into that bag,
shaking it more,
and then throwing the fucker into the air
[continue song]
That's what happens after you fuck her...

Then, with tears rolling down,
We agree it's time to end
She just wants one final hug
...but what's she doing with her hand?

Next thing I knew...

Chorus: (fast)

Verse: (slow, dramatic)
One year later,
she's crazier than ever
Stalking me all over,
I can't seem to escape her

I've blocked her phone numbers
after 12 calls in two hours,

[unfinished]

slow fog

My thoughts ooze out
like a slow fog
across a deserted, city street.
Figures emerge, shadowed and furtive

An idea hides next to a garbage can
in the alley
An idea that's reached the bottom

A passing daze screams at the top of her lungs
as the blurry streetlight above her
flickers
and goes out

A muse is mugged and beaten
A breakthrough is shot on sight

But a dark emotion stands in the middle
the cold fog closes around him
a ghost of a lover's hand
He stands still, dark cape breathing
as the rain starts
and memories run down
into cigarette-lined gutters